Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
