We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
