saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Randomize
