peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
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