All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Someone came in the potted fern
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Randomize
