so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
