Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Randomize
