everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
