I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
