i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
