And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize