yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
When did angry sex become our thing?
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
