he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
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