First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
