Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
