I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
