alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
