she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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