Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
