At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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