I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Randomize
