Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
