So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Randomize
