this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
