I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
