Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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