Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
