your room smells of hookers.
And success
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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