it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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