The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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