But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
