we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
