I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
The cops high fived after they tackled you
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
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