I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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