She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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