The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I think people are normalizing furries
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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