Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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