I got her a Nickelback box set.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
