I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
We're not piercing ourselves today.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
