you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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