Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
