We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
