tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Randomize
