we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
