Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I think I am morally bankrupt
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
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