we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Randomize
