I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
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