I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
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