oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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