I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
