If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize