I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
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