Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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