apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
