Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
