did you get engaged???
I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
