im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
