no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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