perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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