real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
