Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I'm drive I can fine osifer
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
