My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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