Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
